Voice overs

So why is it that whenever I am in a fairly crowded, noisy environment and have to
call a company, I get the company that uses the voice prompted VRU? This
inevitably leads to getting to the wrong place in those damn things. Then I have to
try and worm my way back to where I was supposed to be heading in the first place.
There needs to be an option at the beginning of those VRUs that will allow you to
choose the touch tone option ( I did not recognize your last response. Please try
again).
And it IS somewhat comical when you call into one of those delivery services
and input your 3,000 digit tracking number only to listen to the machine repeat
it back to you in what seems like it takes about 5 minutes. And I have to admit
that I find myself not paying attention to the monotone voice on the other end
but instead thinking about how weird the whole damn thing sounds, and
chuckling sometimes aloud, to which you get some pretty damn funny looks.
I'm am really glad that it always seems to be a womans voice that is on those
machines, because if it was a guy, I would probably laugh even harder due to
the fact that I would relate it to Stephen Hawking and then think to myself
"what the hell is he doing making these recordings anyway? Shouldn't he
be well enough off that he doesn't have to lower himself into the hell that
is VRUs?" But then again, I saw a little blurb on some news show a few
years ago about the woman that did all those voice prompts for AT&T and
a bunch of other companies, and she was making out quite well. So maybe
it would be a super lucrative little aside for Stephen, and I should just go
ahead and shut the hell up. Besides, I would have already missed like 5
prompts by now and would be paying somebody else's car payment. So
if your car payment, or electric bill or other utility was mysteriously paid
one month, you can thank me. And I only have myself to blame for letting
the mind wander. It used to be a good mind, but as I get older, it appears
to be letting more things slip. And there went another 2 prompts.

Speed Bumps

Today is Wednesday, and my scheduled day off. This is my 'down-day'. I am fortunate enough to be blessed w/ a couple of health challenges. One of which is Fibromyalgia (FM). To say that life is a highway is so cliché, but the analogy works so dang well, it's a shame to ignore it based solely on its usage.

So strap on your seat belt, and let me show you how I roll.

The expedition is a tapestry woven of freeways, roundabouts, dark alleys, dirt paths, small towns, big cities and broken pavement. We all come to different junctures: forks in the road, decisions to be made, that out-of-the way, hole-in-the-wall eatery that soothes the wandering soul and replenishes the body. Sometimes we pull over to avoid an accident, view the scenery, take on a passenger or just get out and explore. Other times, the road itself slows us. These are the potholes, the missing off ramp signs, forced detours, accident debris, falling rocks, blind corners and the occasional speed bump.

Created to slow down the ride to a safer pace, it is the speed bump that forces the journey to a momentary crawl. When you see the speed bump, you assess the size, the degree of impact, the potential for damage. Then you make your adjustments to protect the ride, or you just barrel over it, hoping you didn't miss-judge the severity of the bump, leading to throwing out your alignment or worse, dislodging something from the undercarriage!

FM is one of my speed bumps. And Wednesdays are my realignment days. I take time for me. That's right, for ME! HA HA!! I allow myself the opportunity to rest the engine, and prepare it for the rough road. By honoring both the vehicle and the bump, I ensure a smoother ride on the straightaway.

Now there are some folks that see mountains instead of molehills. (I personally have never seen a molehill, and wouldn't know one from Adam's off cat.) But, I have seen a mountain or two. Preferring to see a speed bump instead of a mountain is the awesome beauty of perspective. Take the bump slowly. Respect the bump. BE the bump. OK, you don't have to be the bump. Just keep everything grounded to the big picture.

The good news is that speed bumps don’t just slow things down; they have the marvelous ability to actually alter our view. As we approach the bump, we first look outward. As we ascend towards the crest, our eyes glance towards heaven. At the apex, our view is altered, momentarily sitting aloft from the road. Followed by our descent, our gaze is lowered, and we bow our heads in thanks for the safe passage. Then w/ eyes forward, hands at 2 and 10, we accelerate to meet the road again on equal ground.

Your tour director, Hover-skirt

Reality Bytes

Bowling-Pin said...

So, if I never hear about Britney Spears, OJ Simpson, Tom Cruise, and a few other celebrities again, it will be too soon. Am I alone in thinkig this way? Geez, and how many shows about Hollywood do we need? What a sad state of affairs in this country. And so called reality shows? Just a bunch of Hollywood wannabes. And I'm not really sure why those shows seem to be popular. Are people so bored with their own lives that this is their entertainment? Brain dead zombies with a void to fill? I have a job that can sometimes cause me to just feel like my brain has shut down and I want something on TV to entertain me, but please, I have never stooped to watching those shows. Give me something on the History Channel, or Discovery. Something with a little more substance. Alright, maybe a MSTie, Rifftrax, or a Marx Brothers movie. But geez, American Idol? Ugh. I do have to admit that I think Kelly Clarkson is cute, but to actually sit and watch that show, and then cast a vote? Get a life!

November 27, 2007 11:12 PM

Hi-Keeba and Hello! - again.

The Bots are writing a weblog. Why? Not sure. Although I, Hover-skirt, always thought the term 'blog', should be stricken from the Funk and Wagnalls and thrown adrift with words like 'aks' and 'irregardless'. The later of which is the verbal equivalent of Holy water on Marilyn Manson to my partner in this blogging crime, Bowling Pin.

And Dear Reader, it is true. We are now officially bloggers. Hopefully you will have read this far, and realized that we are kindred spirits, You and I, and someday this will all amount to a hill 'o beans in this crazy world, or a beautiful friendsh...

But I digress. So until next time, Viva El Hefe del Gato!!! And return again to this last refuge of a Lonely Soul, seeking ....oops, sorry, wrong blog. And return again to this land of wanderlust, celluloid, tumble-fir, parrotheads, loaded 'Pooks' and tufted titmice.

Hover-skirt (& B-Pin)